Sam Spartan Returns from Captivity a New Mascot

Sam Spartan, the lovable but not-exactly-warriorlike mascot of Northampton County Community College, was returned Thursday at the college's Quadfest event by the very ninjas who carried him off last week, though not unscathed from the ordeal.

In what well may be a violation of the Geneva Convention, Spartan was apparently subjected to a week-long physical and psychological makeover by the occidental-posing-as-oriental campus vigilantes.

Those calling themselves “the emm” revealed their motives at the college's Quadfest today.

“We didn't want him to be a wimp,” their leader said. “We are the Emergency Mascot Makeover crew.”

Showing absolutely no remorse, she added, “He really needed it. Doesn't he look better?”

Despite that, Spartan was kidnapped just before making his first statement ever, he said nothing about his week-long ordeal today, instead flexing his muscles and taking a swing or two with his sword.

That is a far cry from Spartan's behavior when dragged away last week. Witnesses said then he didn't even put up a fight.

According to Director of Student Life Frank Pologruto, “...I have to tell the truth. He didn't put up a fight. In fact, he screamed like a girl. They didn't need four ninjas to grab him. One of the kids from the college's child care center could have taken him out.”

By the look of things now, however, those days are over, and despite an undoubtedly harrowing week, Spartan seemed to enjoy the attention, though he retreated somewhat quickly, undoubtedly to rest up for the upcoming sports season, while students and faculty continued to mingle.